After more than 100 days of treating an unrevealed illness/working remotely from London, the Nigerian President, Mohammadu Buhari, finally came back to Nigeria on the 19th of August. Amidst mixed reactions on social media, I found the most plausible explanation:
I know Buhari only came for sallah
— Miss Aregbesola (@moh_dara) August 19, 2017
According to Garba Shehu, the official spokesperson to the president, President Buhari will be working from home for the next three months because rats damaged his office furniture and air conditioning while he was away. At this point, I am convinced that Mr. President just wants to work like a millennial.
Unsurprisingly, this created reactions on social media.
Some believe this is a sign
"Rodents destroyed PMB's office furniture while he was abroad"- Shehu Garba
My goodness!!! Even the rats don't want him to come back.
— Femi Fani-Kayode (@realFFK) August 22, 2017
While some don’t buy the story. Rats? Really?
I am beginning to rethink Abati's Evil spirits in Aso Rock Tales,
How can someone with Brain come up with this Rat Devastation Story?
— Devon… (@StST4N) August 22, 2017
Rat invading the presidents office? Aso rock?
I laugh in swahili!!
— Willywonka (@wonka_ng) August 22, 2017
Too much information
Wetin concern us with rat for Baba office or no airfreshener in the toilet or the soakaway don full? Must we be told EVERYTHING?
— Jack Obinyan-Buhari (@JackObinyan) August 22, 2017
And Lessons to be learnt
So rat entered Aso Rock before me.
Moral Lesson: Never look down on anyone.
— Aburo Lukaku 💪 (@dino_akin) August 24, 2017
In other unrelated trending lies on social media this week, check this:
While rat and Nigeria trended globally on Twitter, here are some other interesting topics on social media in the past week.
Preach developer! Preach!
Have pastors and other men/women of God been posing as developers and speaking at tech meetups in Nigeria? Well, Prosper Otemuyiwa believes so and he proves this theory in a Twitter thread.
— Prosper Otemuyiwa 🔥🚀 (@unicodeveloper) August 22, 2017
Read the thread.
The Police is your frenemy
According to a report recently released by the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) and the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC), the Nigerian police is considered as the most corrupt institution by Nigerians. Shocker!
Abayomi Shogunle, the head of the customer service unit of the Nigerian Police Force took to Twitter to refute the reports.
Everyone doing bogus study/survey.
Unrealistic "findings" that can't stand test of time.
Anyway, they must 'spended' the $£€
— Abayomi Shogunle (@YomiShogunle) August 19, 2017
Someone decided to investigate NBS’s “bogus survey” on social media and this was the result:
2. Is the Nigeria Police Force corrupt ?
— Plangkat Miller-Ham (@peekaymila) August 19, 2017
This thread of people’s personal experiences with the Nigerian police drives the point home. The police is indeed your friend.
Higher education for all
This week the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB) reduced the cut-off mark for university admission to 120 and 100 for polytechnics and colleges of education. This attracted plenty grammar from unimpressed Nigerians.
Pegging JAMB cut off mark at 30%(120) in the first place is a glaring evidence that Nigeria educational system is in comatose #sunrisedaily
— Ajulo Olajide (AJ) (@AjuloAj) August 25, 2017
And conspiracy theories
Let's just pretend like the new JAMB cutoff marks is not meant to favour a specific part of the Country pic.twitter.com/fBguNv1boA
— FAVOUR ONYEOZIRI (GCFR) (@Rouvafe) August 23, 2017
Then came the funny Tweets
90s children that got admission last year reading:
"JAMB reintroduces post-UTME and reduces general cut-off mark to 120 for Varsities." pic.twitter.com/ZdzQXiKn07
— Mr.┏̲O̶̲̅┓̲P ┏̲A̶̲̅┓ (@ogbeni_opa) August 23, 2017
JAMB cutoff mark is now 120. Your WCW can now finally go to the university.
— #ToRussiaWithCoke (@I_pissVodka) August 24, 2017
Big brother is watching you…on social media
This week, the Nigerian army revealed plans to add social media to the many serious issues they need to tackle.
— Channels Television (@channelstv) August 23, 2017
Did I hear someone say freedom of speech? Oh well.
And Nigerians reacted
So under PMB the military will now monitor social media for "anti government information". What a lovely change! Did I hear you say chains?
— Reno Omokri (@renoomokri) August 23, 2017
And the government decided to confuse us
A “fake” handle sprung up after the announcement and the government decided to address the issue by throwing shades at “certain people”.
— PODE (#weASOcial) (@DigiCommsNG) August 24, 2017
Check out what Nigerians have to say about the above tweet here.
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